Four years of exams, stress, assignments and depression later I've finally got a certificate to prove that I am an Engineer. I never thought this day would come. I never though I'd actually be this happy. But yes, God has been so unbelievably good to me. 

I finally got to wear the rented coat/gown thing with a red sash around my neck that thankfully did not clash with my outfit. There was no graduation cap, unfortunately. But then after I received my degree there was one photographer waiting who pushed me into a corner, slapped a graduation cap on my head and took a picture before I could realize whats happening. And he charged me two hundred rupees for it! All this happened in a matter of minutes. The photo reached my house yesterday. I look like a chubby deer caught in the headlights. 

Before the actual graduation ceremony began we had to 'rehearse' for it. Basically all of us just had to run across the stage. I just prayed that when my turn came to walk on to the stage and get my degree I don't trip and fall on my face. Thankfully I did not do that. But right before my turn came the stupid straps on my stupid heels came undone and I limped across the stage and ambushed the boy in front of me.

I still remember the first day of college and I'm proud of how far I've come. I know its just one degree and there are thousands of Engineers out there, most who even deserve it, but for me this really is an accomplishment. I just hope that from now on I get to do something I really like. 

Here's to better things to come!

Three hundred and sixty five days are over. Unbelievable. Time goes by so fast. I really wanted to savor every minute and make each day count but time just flies. 2011 has been a year of extreme emotions for me and in some way I think it achieved a balance. 

I started the year with my final semester of college. It was the most unforgettable semester ever. I met some wonderful people, made great friends, realized how much I actually liked my college, a person I met only for a few hours gave me a lot of confidence and I met Shashi Tharoor at a MUN confernce (he is SO cute!). In typical Zarine fashion I also did make a complete fool of myself. I cried (in public!) for a reason that now seems so stupid, swore at someone (again, in public), embarrassed myself on stage, almost embarrassed myself multiple times in project reviews but managed to save my face, which I am actually proud of.

After semesters it was exam time and I spent an awful amount of time waiting for my awful Anna University marks. Anna University, if you are reading this, you suck. Thank you for giving me a tough time, it just made me stronger. But to be fair, I do respect you. I know it must have been no fun going through my answer sheets, or a lot of fun depeding on how you look at it.

The latter part of the year took a far turn from all this awesomeness. I got disappointed a lot. So I bawled my eyes out and went on a strike but it was a no go. Sometimes no matter how much we plan and yearn for things it just doesn't work out - another lesson from 2011. But these disappointements literally ate through by brain and I just went on analyzing one situation after the other and almost threw myself into a deep and endless pit (metaphorically, of course). But I also found the resilience in me. I learnt to pick myself up and forced myself to look ahead.

After this it was vacation time. Dad always promised me that we could go anywhere we wanted once I completed my degree. We started with Egypt and then the revolution happened. So I suggested Turkey, my first love, but then the earthquake happened. His timing is impeccable, I tell you. 

Eventually we settled on Dubai for reasons I cannot comprehend. Initially I was totally uninterested but then the food and shopping cheered me up. I ate so many differnt types of food. I would have loved to take pictures of them but I live with a brother who is too impatient to let the food pose and a father who is embarrassed when I take pictures of food. 

2011 was a year of paradoxes for me. I had so many, many dreams for this year. I think the fault lies in the fact that I expected all of them to come true. So in 2012 I expect to dream less (like that's even possible).

When it comes to resolutions I have always made the really cheesy ones like "Oh I will lose weight this year" and the classic - "I will study well this year". Histroy shows that these resolutions never saw the break of day. So this year my resolutions are simple. It follows the concept of more.

Read more.

Write more.

Live more.

For the past few years I've spent New Year's eve at home eating take out and watching old Grey's Anatomy reruns. This year however, I will be at a friends wedding, ringing in the new year in a pattu saree and five inch heels. This gives me confidence for the new year because nothing bad can happen when you are in a pattu saree and five inch heels.

2012 is going to be a supremely awesome year and I intend to make full use of it. No Mayan prophecy is going to ruin my year.

I wish the handful of people reading my blog have a fabulous new year!

See you in 2012.

Nostalgia.

A friend of mine just came over to invite me for her wedding. It's been a good six months since college finished and I can't believe how far we've all come. Some are getting married, some are doing exceptionally in their jobs and some, like me, are waiting for a lucky break. College feels like it happened in a different life. It feels like it happened eons ago and what I can remember is surrounded by a haze. I talk like its been years since I passed out but, eerily enough not even a year has passed since. College is generally a place where people "find themselves". But for me it was about finding just a "part" of me. 

At times I'm filled with regret because I spent too much time hating what I did. I regret that I didn't give myself a chance to like what I did. I spent a lot of time and energy in vehemently disliking anything and everything that came with my course. At this point in my life I feel like I could have done better. I could have studied harder but even I know that its a lost cause. I tried really hard to be better, academically. I failed. And Anna University gave me many more tries. Then, I passed. It was probably the single most happiest moment in my life, passing in something I never liked to begin with. But if that had never happened I would have a very different life right now. 

When we were in college my partner in crime and I, we used to imagine a bright, new exciting life waiting for us as soon as we were done with these four years of formal education. But the first few weeks after college ended I experienced severe withdrawal symptoms. My body wanted to wake up at 7 'o' clock and run behind a bus. I had to have some college tea in my system. I even missed the doughy bread bajjis that reeked with oil. I missed texting from the last bench. I missed the constant bitching with the aforementioned partner in crime. I missed writing "apology" and "permission" letters. I missed the afternoon meals that tasted terrible in first year but awesome in final year. I missed doing fake demos for projects and fighting over which font to use for ppts. I wanted to relive the terrible presentations that we did. But most of all I missed my friends. 

I know that I can never go back to those wonderful times and all I have are memories and pictures. I entered college as a much skinnier 17 year old and I left as a wiser, more well rounded 21 year old. I may not have "found myself" in college. I know that will take me a few more years but I definitely feel much smarter in the "life" department. Every time I talk about being wiser or much sensibler than I was in the past, this song by U2 always comes to mind - "City of Blinding Lights" (which is incidentally the song that inspired the name for this blog) where Bono says, "The more you see, the less you know. The less you find out as you go. I knew much more than I do now. "

College may not have given me the experiences I wished for but it did give me the life lessons that I needed. And in the bargain also gives me a degree in Engineering which, if you ask me, is a pretty good deal!

Its that time of the year again.
Exam time.

This means time to buy books, check syllabus, note down exam dates and recollect subject names.

The first slot is the practical exams. The week before practicals is the worst week ever. Writing records is one thing but getting the professor to sign it is a whole new task. They try their best to find faults and escape from signing. "You didn't write experiment number", "this sheet color is different from the previous one", "I told you to do dark blue spiral bnding but this is light blue. I will not sign".

Get a life, lady.

No matter how much or how well I study for the practicals I'm always unprepared. It is God's miracle that I clear every time. The external examiner and the viva is another thing I greatly fear. I inevitably end up blabbering. Getting 5 on 5 for viva is a great feat. A friend of mine once didn't answer any questions correctly so as a last resort the external examiner asked her, "Tell me the author's name".

She didn't know.

"At least tell me the color of the book", the examiner asked.

BLANK.

That is the state of Engineers.

I'm so sick of writing exams. answering 2 marks, write detail answer, draw line, right in black pen, blah blah blah.

It's time to cram four months worth of syllabus in a weeks time. We're not worried about this cause for us students under Anna University, this is what we excel in.

THIS IS UNBEARABLE.
HAVING BROUGHT THIS UPON MYSELF, I HAVE NO RIGHTS TO COMPLAIN.

BUT STILL..

I WANT TO QUIT.
AND I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE LAKHS OF RUPEES INVESTED.
IT'S GOING TO BE A BLOODY WASTE ANYWAY.



TAKE MY ADVICE-

DO NOT OPT FOR ENGINEERING.





IT SUCKS THE FUN OUT OF EVERYTHING.

OH

MY

GOD.

I

CANNOT

TAKE

THIS

ANYMORE.

SOMEBODY

PLEASE

SHOOT

ME.


I

CANNOT

LOOK

AT

CODES

I

DO

NOT

UNDERSTAND

ANYMORE.

ASSIGNMENTS. The Beginning And The Ending Of Engineering.

Assignments.. Yes.. Doesn't it make you shiver and send chills up your spine??
Well, it would if you are studying Engineering. From the day you enter an Engineering college till the day you leave it you do nothing worthwhile but write assignments.

Typically assignments are meant me to be written individually. It is a test to see how much you know and it is to rate where you stand in understanding the subject and how much you listened in class.

But what do you do if you don't listen in class???
Do I have a tried and tested solution for you!

When assignments are announced all of us very VERY enthusiastically line up in the xerox counters to take copies of the questions and shell out money like as if we earned it just to have a copy. And after you have your own copy in your hand you are very satisfied.. like as if you have ACTUALLY completed it. The copies are carefully folded and kept safely in your bag. So safely that you would NEVER EVER take it out.

And throughout the week you have your fun and as for the assignment ha! thats the last thing on your mind.

The day of submission comes and morning we come prepared to class with sheets to copy the assignments from the first row people who have actually finished it. An you think "hahaa what losers. I'll just copy it from them." And so 90% of the class sits to copy from the remaining 8% (the 2% just don't write it). The ultimate test of your capabilities is when you have to meet a dead line in five hours and every other hour you have classes. This might seem impossible to an ordinary person. But to us, the super-Enigneeers its a piece of cake.

Note: copying assignments improves our hand writing and writing at lightining speed it is still very much legible.

So by the end of the day we all manage to finish it and submit it like as if we have toiled oh-so-hard on it. The botom line is that all the 50 papers submitted have the same content and the same mistakes and more often than not the same number of pages. When the papers come back from correction everybody gets the same score but sometimes the the copier gets one mark more than the copiee. This happens only if you are very lucky.

All this hard work done with a loss of blood, sweat and tears is done just for one sole cause-
the dreaded INTERNALS.

And ironically this post was inspired when I was doin an assignment all by myself for the very first time due to unavoidable reasons. And i missed the thrill that comes with copying assignments.

Ask ant Engineering student, everyone has a story behind their assignments, some bad and some exceptionally life altering. =)

Of Aloe Vera Wipes And Fights

Studying Engineering is a right-royal pain all over. But sitting in the back benches during class does have its advantages. Today during this called DSP aka Degree Stopping Paper to all of us under its wrath, my friend and i whom we shall call Ulsa discovered the very many capapbilities of aloe vera wipes.

Aloe vera wipes, being used with the 0.1% something something percentage of alcohol has oh-so-many powers. Ink stains disappear when wiped with it!! It closes the pores on the skin and exfoliates!! Oh the miracles of science!! And we discovered all this sitting in the last bench while the poor lady was teaching some random topic. The back bench is THE place to be.
How comes you ask is it?
Well, for one knows what the hell you are doing except of course your ever faithfull comrades of the back bench.
You can write whatever you want, Assignments, records, observations.. Ah the sweet smell of freedom..
Mobile phone checking and messaging. Note: Very important in life.
Eating. Also very important.
You write, you don't write nobody gives a damn because the professors so rarely come back.

Basically its ultimate bliss.

The enthu pattanis of the first bench miss out on so much.


And as for fights, well I've grown up amongst brothers and i know the tricks of twisting hands, fingers, pinching, punching, dodging pinches and punches aimed at me and so on and so forth..
So if someone messes with me, you get hit whether you like it or not. Just like another friend whom we shall call.. SF who cannot scream even to save her life..

Ahh.. this was such a productive day..

This is life in an Engineerng College.
This is wasting 4 years of your life not knowing what to do with it.