Today is my 20th birthday.
I'm 20 freaking years old.
And I'm not even the least bit mature!!
It was fun celebrating my teenage birthdays but when it came to my 20th I was a little hesitant. So when I woke up this morning I was all "okay another day. And oh ya its my birthday. Cool".
When I was little, waking up on the morning of birthdays was such an event! I couldn't wait to wake up! I would be so high. And every year my birthday would be during Quarterly holidays and school would reopen two days later. The teachers would promptly distribute papers when I wen to school few days later and there I would be sitting in my 'birthday' dress receiving not gifts but mark sheets.
Birthdays were never a cause for celebration at home.
1. Because its haraam to celebrate birthdays.
2. Because we were never interested and it was not imperative that we do it.
But my folks would let me do what I wanted to with my friends.
The selection of a 'birthday' dress to wear to school was such a rigorous process. My mother would scream in agony and I would never pick a dress until it was perfect.
And I got my perfect clothes every year!
I would decide what chocolates to take to school. And the decision would be so tough that even the United Nations couldn't solve it if they wanted to.
I would plan and replan and go through the entire day in my mind. And when morning came I was so excited.
Ah to go to school in 'colour' dress, to be the center of attention, to show-off.. what bliss that was!
This was all birthdays meant to me.
Sweet sixteens and sexy seventeens. (yeah, my friend came up with the sexy seventeen)
Birthday clothes and presents.
Food, cake and fun.
How immature I was!
Now I realize what birthdays really are. Allaah gives us one more year.
One more year to do things you have never done.
One more year to change the way you want to be.
One more year to come closer to the person you want to be.
I understand how blessed and lucky I am to go through these experiences when many people have nothing at all to live for. Each year has taught me something. As each year passes I can feel myself becoming stronger, more confident. I can feel myself ready to face challenges, to believe and to stick to my choices, to be smart enough to know what I want.
Birthdays should be about growing up. And about realizing responsibilities. And about becoming the person you want to be.
I woke up this morning feeling morose and unexcited but I had a wonderful time today! My two very lovely friends in college SF and Ulsa actually surprised me with a gorgeous chocolate cake. I used to day that cutting cakes in college was so cheesy and so stupid. But they gave me a taste of my own medicine and I liked it!
My wonderful wonderful girls from school, my bum-chums, my girls, my most favourite people in the whole world surprised me by being not too discreet! But it was fun nonetheless. My lovely Myrtle Turtle baked THE most sexiest cake I've ever had! And I blew off the candles too!
So to be honest, this was the best-est birthday I had =)
And YOU. If YOU made my day all the more special =)