Saturday, January 23, 2010

The Smell Of Freedom

Freedom they say, smells sweet. But in India freedom does smell a little.. actually a LOT like pee.
Pee.

That my friends is the smell of freedom. The repulsive smell of pee is what hits you first when you step outside. No wonder "foreigners" are disgusted by us. The smell of pee is in the air you breathe. Its like how when you land in Singapore the first thing you smell when you're at the streets is fish. In Bangkok it was swine meat. In France I guess its cheese? The same way in India its pee.

Probably half the population pees on the road but we are still very pretentious you see. The remaining half of the population act like they have never seen/smelt pee on the road. In my lifetime and I'm not that very old, I have see a lot of people doing their business in street corners, little slum kids squatting along the road or near a dump. This is what we see everyday.

A few days back when I got down from my bus and walked across the road to the pavement I found myself standing near that electric board thing that looks like its in a cupboard, surrounded by sick pee stink and funnily enough the smell came from near the board! People pee near electricity. They are not afraid to relieve themselves in public and if you catch them doing it then screw you! They are not going to apologize!

I accept peeing in public is disgusting but this is just what people do here. The more you tell them not to do it, the more the pee on the roads. Indians make the best of use of the freedom that they have. They do everything on the streets! We can keep talking about how sick and rotting this particular action is for years and years to come but no matter how sophisticated we become there will still be a bunch of people gracing the roads of India with their pee.

I think the reason why many prefer to do their business in public is because people do not trust them with bathrooms.

Take for example the restrooms in the trains. The restrooms are pretty small. The wash basin has an abnormal kind of tap system that is being used for God knows how many years. If you've traveled in an Indian train you know what I'm talking about.

Another thing about Indians are is that they are seriyana OC party which means that we love freebies and we are not ashamed of it. Sometimes the OC part might go to an extent of stealing. We love to steal things! Especially things that belong to the Government! When they clean man holes the lid is removed and kept away and there are a bunch of people who make shit loads of money stealing it and putting it to use some other way.

Hence they do not trust us with "MUGS" in the restrooms of trains. So they came up with a brilliant plan where they CHAINED the steel MUG to the wall. And its not even that long so basically it doesn't reach where it needs to and with all the motion in the train the water is every where! And if you have to catch water in your travelling mug you have to life the top of the tap that is almost always rusted, hold the mug close and balance yourself as the train in thrown full-on onto the tracks.

"There!", says the Railways.
"Try stealing that you jerks!".
"And while you're at it, TRY TO PEE!!".
Evil Laugh.
The End.

5 comments:

ironmonkey said...

hahahaha, i know what you mean very well... cuz iam one of those "freedom loving" guys :))

check out my blog and you'll know what i mean ;)

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Zarine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tys on Ice said...

man, u dont know the freedom of the act of peeing in the open...the art of drawing a pattern on someones wall with ur pee...the effective air drying of ur means naturally..ahhh!

yes the smell...what about it?..if not for the smell of pee, think of the smell that it masks...the smell of oppression,of fear, of poverty, the stink of corrupted politicians, the unsavory pungent odour of the religious zealots, the indifferent smell of fart of the majority who farts a lot but shits even less..\\

pee isfar better.

Nadia said...

LOL ... I've traveled through the Indian railways twice, and though I love the experience, using the restroom is something I can't get used to. There's so much hard work -including balancing yourself - involved!